Category: Parody
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I Spent Sixteen Months of My Childhood Locked in a Basement and No One will Publish My Memoir.
Yes, I forgive my mother for the trauma she put me through. That was part of the process of writing the book. Anger? Sure, I have anger, I hurt, but mostly I am upset at Harper Collins for saying they were going to publish the book and then dropping it six months later after those…
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Shout at the Devil Your Abortion
You can guess what my friends had to say. Not very supportive. Beth saw me leave the bar with him that night and she was of course super judgey about it.
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I WAS MARRIED TO A PSYCHIC MEDIUM: THIS IS WHAT IT WAS LIKE
In Scotland, my wife says, she sees sheep and a shepherd but no serial killers. The sheep talk to her as well. Sheep in Scotland. Sheep in Serbia. Sheep in Australia. New Zealand. What about goats, I ask. I cannot speak to goats psychically, she says. They speak in the tongue of the devil.
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How I Am Teaching My Small Daughters to Play Patriarchy Chicken
Anyway, they didn’t charge our youngest with assault for holding the Bowie knife to the Sheriff’s throat and threatening to bite off his ear. Though threatening a police officer is against the law, the Sheriff was so impressed with my girls survival skills that he didn’t see a point in pressing charges. He even told…
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I FOUND HEALING WITH A FAMED SPIRITUALIST: Testimony # 2
People were shocked by what happened to me. They didn’t believe it could be real. I was studied by doctors, I was on TV, I was even abducted by the government for a short time and put in a underground lab. But I was healed all the same and it was all thanks to the…
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I FOUND HEALING WITH A FAMED SPIRITUALIST: Testimony 1.
Then their two shining souls, both finally free of their earthly pain, linked hands and drifted up out of the prison and into the cosmos as I sat in the plastic prison chair and wept, watching.
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I Hid My Devastating Skin Disease Because Of Shame. Here’s Why I’m Speaking Out Now.
In a manner of two weeks I went from being a woman tending to a network of drainage stents much like a Vermonter tending maple syrup taps to being pretty much a macrobiotic chef whose only client was herself, but whose care and feeding was still a full time job.