Category: Parody
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I’m A Mom And A Vaccine Researcher. Here’s Why You Should Vaccinate Your Children
As a pioneering researcher of vaccines for as yet undetected viruses, my work is not merely to anticipate future viruses, but to create them, to speed their evolution
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Two Words No Person With a Disability Wants to Hear
Young Fred and his orphan father Charles worked as itinerant horse meat grinders right up until the Second World War. Now I bet you are thinking that I am about to say that Fred was called to fight in the Great War, and that was why the burger meat business went away.
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What It’s Like To Star In A Movie With Your Mom When Your Mom Is Tilda Swinton
The amount of research and preparation she did before I was even conceived, I think, to a lot of people, would be excessive, but as Tilda always told me about acting, which was pretty much the only thing she was ever really interested in talking to me about, never boys, or god forbid-my feelings, was…
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I Spent Sixteen Months of My Childhood Locked in a Basement and No One will Publish My Memoir.
Yes, I forgive my mother for the trauma she put me through. That was part of the process of writing the book. Anger? Sure, I have anger, I hurt, but mostly I am upset at Harper Collins for saying they were going to publish the book and then dropping it six months later after those…
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Shout at the Devil Your Abortion
You can guess what my friends had to say. Not very supportive. Beth saw me leave the bar with him that night and she was of course super judgey about it.
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I WAS MARRIED TO A PSYCHIC MEDIUM: THIS IS WHAT IT WAS LIKE
In Scotland, my wife says, she sees sheep and a shepherd but no serial killers. The sheep talk to her as well. Sheep in Scotland. Sheep in Serbia. Sheep in Australia. New Zealand. What about goats, I ask. I cannot speak to goats psychically, she says. They speak in the tongue of the devil.
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How I Am Teaching My Small Daughters to Play Patriarchy Chicken
Anyway, they didn’t charge our youngest with assault for holding the Bowie knife to the Sheriff’s throat and threatening to bite off his ear. Though threatening a police officer is against the law, the Sheriff was so impressed with my girls survival skills that he didn’t see a point in pressing charges. He even told…