Of all the heartbreaks I’ve known, female friend ghosting is really the most terrible.
I’ve lost friends to suicide, car accidents, out of town moves, and failed appendectomies. But none of them turned into ghosts and haunted me the way my female friend Alisha Dinwitty did when she ghosted me.
The pain of not knowing if Alicia was still my friend or not was agonizing in a really terrible way that I just cannot describe. If I had to describe it I would describe it as the earth being in the shadow of the moon.
The way women treat each other is even more terrible than the way men treat women. Every man who ghosted me at least tried to get in my pants me first. Or kiss me. Same difference. When women ghost you it’s just spooky, which makes it really terrible, because they never even wanted anything first, which just makes me feel like, like, I don’t even exist. Like, well, like a ghost really. Which is terrible. For a person, to feel so dead. Especially a female person.
When I think about being a ghost I think that even if I was a ghost I wouldn’t ghost anybody. I think if I was a ghost I wouldn’t want to create more ghosts. I think I would try to help people value their lives, and stay alive, and not choose death. I would want to help them learn to value people, and be grateful, and not ghost female people who want to be their friends.
Friendship kills ghosts. Ghosts are what happens when friendship dies. Which is like really terrible. Friends don’t let friends ghost friends and turn into ghosts. Ghost friendships aren’t real friendships. Only living people can be friends, not ghosts.
Females know this, but sometimes some of them, like Alicia, are just having a lot of stress in their lives and they forget. Which is really terrible. But even though our friendship seems like it died, I’m not a ghost and neither is Alicia, even though she ghosted me.
Alicia, I am here for you. I know you know this, and I understand that’s probably why you are not responding to any of my texts or snaps, but even though it feels like really terrible to me, I know I have something of value to offer you, and if you’d just let Sarah or Tate talk to you about what happened with us, I think it could like turn our friendship back to life.
I’m here for you, Alicia. No matter how much you try to pretend I don’t exist, I do. I am not a dead ghost and I refuse to believe you are a dead ghost too. I’ll never stop letting you know that. That would be giving up on life, which is truly terrible. I’m just not that kind of female friend.