Pseudonyms only. Our writers are writers not brands. We are promoting ideas not people. If you want to reveal your pseudonym on your own website or social media profile to claim credit for all the ridiculous brilliant-ness you’ve submitted to our site, feel free.
No photographs needed ever. The world has enough. We don’t need anymore. Unless we change our minds. But really, the online proliferation of purposeless photos is a kind of pollution right now*. We’re all about the words here at spat.
All disagreeableness must be reasoned and somewhat respectful disagreeableness, unless ridiculously unreasonable/disrespectful disagreeableness, which is welcome within limits.
Columns are welcome, but you will be edited fiercely and your protests will be ignored. Don’t like it? Go back to Facebook. Your friends love what you write, we’re sure.
Humor is welcome, if funny.
Poetry is welcome, if funny. But really, be serious about making it funny.
Cartoons are welcome, if you can both draw and make a point and do not list either Dilbert or Elizabeth Gilbert as influences.
Short stories are sort of welcome. Long ones too. Please read some before you send us one. And take a writing class. Here are some we like.
Essays are especially welcome. Please read some good ones before you write some. Here’s a list of favorites.
Journalism is encouraged, especially if it is vaguely topical and timely but not so topical and timely that it’s outdated or trite immediately after publishing. Do some actual reporting. Go places, talk to people. Your work will be better for it.
Arts Criticism is great. Aesthetic criticism preferred, moral gatekeeping discouraged.
Word counts are ridiculous for an online publication and will never ever be enforced. Just make each word count. And if you don’t we will. And if you don’t like it, Crabsnatch Journal, A Literary Endeavor has open submissions from July to September.
Submissions are never open. To submit you must know someone who has been published. Find them if you can. Bother them instead of us. If they are not sufficiently bothered by your submission, they can then bother us with it and we’ll actually read it. Maybe.
You will not like some of the viewpoints of some of the other contributors. If you do we are not doing our job well.
Political Commentary is discouraged unless the commentary adds something new to the discussion. Likely yours doesn’t, but surprises are welcome.
We don’t pay. But we don’t make you pay us either. If things go well we hope to pay you in the future.
We will not be sharing your work or our site on Facebook, though you are welcome to. We will do some limited promotion on Twitter. Our goal is to share ideas, not endlessly comment on them.
*yes we do use pictures, mostly old ones picked off the internet like flotsam from the beach**.
**poetic, we know.